Compare the way in which Larkin and Duffy use language to explore relationships.

          Both poets Carol Ann Duffy and Philip Larkin portray relationships in their poetry to have a mood of bleakness but also a sense of routine that displays that relationships wither over time and love is lost by the habits of life. The poems that display this the most are Larkin’s ‘Talking in bed’ ‘Afternoons’ and Duffy’s ‘Moments of Grace’ and ‘Disgrace’. Although in ‘Moments of Grace’ Duffy displays a sense of hope at the end of the poem and could be uplifting for the reader instead of feeling that relationships are doomed and inevitably love turns into hate.

            In Larkin’s poem ‘Talking in Bed’ the theme of relationships is immediately evoked by the title. The progressive verb ‘talking’ suggests intimacy but also with the concrete noun ‘bed’ having connotations of a marriage, it already suggests to the reader that this might be a romantic poem. Yet by reading forward it becomes apparent that Larkin uses irony. This is shown on the first line of the poem ‘Talking in bed ought to be easiest,’ By using the modal verb ‘ought’ suggests the insecurity of the relationship and that the relationship is the antithesis of what it suggests in the title.

            Furthermore in Duffy’s poem ‘Moments of Grace’ the persona recalls their past life and how they remember it being exciting and how they used to do things whereas in the present, life has become dull. ‘The boredom since’ emphasises emptiness after the grace that has been and that nothing can be more exciting than the first love. The abstract noun ‘boredom’ creates antithesis with the title, as the abstract noun ‘Grace’ has more romantic connotations.  The minor sentence also highlights the personas disinterested tone. This presents a bleak tone to the poem and displays a theme of depression. This is similar to Larkin’s ‘Talking in Bed’ as they both poems display the bleakness in a relationship after years have passed. Yet whereas in ‘Moments of Grace’ there is a semantic field of love ‘grace’ ‘blessing’ and also ‘kissing a wall’ and by using the progressive verb ‘kissing’ shows that the persona would kiss a wall either pretending it was their love or practising before kissing them. This creates another theme of romance, although the persona refers to the past when saying this, showing that the effort in the relationship is not used in the present.

In contrast Larkin’s poem ‘Afternoons’ there is a theme of relationships but Larkin mainly chooses to focus of the habit of life in this poem and that there is a pattern in life. The persona says ‘(but the lovers are all in school)’ this shows that the married women do not have courting places any more as ‘lovers’ has connotations of young love and these married women are not young any more. The persona refers more to this ‘Their beauty has thickened’ showing that they are getting older and fading away. By using the verb ‘thickened’ gives a sense that the women are grotesque looking and become undesirable when they are married.        

In comparison Duffy’s poem ‘Disgrace’, the persona describes being in a difficult relationship. ‘We had not been home in our hearts for months’, this shows that the couple have fallen out of love, the relationship has died and this is obviously mutual between the couple. By the persona saying ‘not been home’ emphasises the discomfort between the couple, as home generally has connotations of love and comfort. This is shown further when the persona uses the collective pro-nouns ‘we’ and ‘us’, this should connote intimacy between the couple yet the poem makes it clear that there isn’t love in the relationship. This is also shown in ‘Moments of Grace’ when at the start of the poem the persona says ‘I dream’ and ‘I will’ referring to his/her moments of ‘grace’ yet when the persona speaks about the relationship, by using the collective pro-noun ‘we’ loses the personas sense of personal identity. This is a parallel to ‘Disgrace’ as when the personas talk of the present we get a sense of unity within the relationships yet instead of a romantic attachment it gives the sense of a trapped relationship.

            This is also shown in Larkin’s poem ‘Talking in Bed’ by the persona using the collective pro-nouns ‘together’ and ‘us’ showing the relationship as a unity. This shows false hope for the relationships in the three poems as the persona seems very connected to their partner. Also in ‘Talking in Bed’ the persona says ‘unique distance from isolation’ showing that in their house they are very close together literally but so far apart emotionally. The abstract noun ‘isolation’ represents the mood of the relationship. This could also show that the couple are isolated from the rest of the world. The pre-modifiers ‘unique distance’ could also show how ‘unique’ their relationship is as they find it hard to be kind to one another.

            The persona in Larkin’s poem ‘Afternoons’ is unlike the other three poems as the persona is not involved in the poem. The persona uses a declarative phrase by stating the weather, ‘summer is fading’ representing nature but also showing a theme of routine in life. This shows the further convention of relationships in Larkin’s poems as doomed. This could also represent the relationship, as the abstract noun ‘summer’ has connotations of happiness and ‘summer love’ but whereas the verb ‘fading’ could show the happiness is slowly going away.

            In Duffy’s poem ‘Disgrace’ the relationship is shown largely through the personification of the house described. Duffy first describes the kitchen as ‘sullen’. By using the adjective sullen represents the kitchen to be gloomy; this could show how the relationship between the couple has affected the household and surroundings. This also creates antithesis with the noun ‘kitchen’ as kitchen normally has connotations of family and warmth. The persona then says ‘The fridge hardened its cool heart’. The verb ‘hardened’ personifies the fridge making it seem like a third party within the relationship. The adjective ‘cool’ also creates antithesis with the noun ‘heart’ as heart has connotations of love. By personifying the fridge in this way the persona shows how the relationship has ‘hardened’ and reflects a ‘cool’ atmosphere. ‘Hardened’ could also represent that the couple put shells around themselves and have hardened showing no intimacy between them.

            Also at the start of the poem the persona says ‘a thickening cyst of dust and gloom’ when describing the rooms. The pre-modifier ‘thickening’ explains how the relationship has been like this for a long time and by using the noun ‘cyst’ has created something disgusting and swelling. By using the post-modifiers ‘dust and gloom’ the persona uses the room to describe the mood of the couple and creates a sense of passing of time, by using verbs such as ‘hardened’ and ‘thickening’. The personification of the house therefore shows that as more times passes in the relationship their hate for each other grows stronger and the relationship cannot be fixed as too much time has passed.

            Time passing is also shown in Larkin’s poem ‘Talking in bed’ when the persona says ‘more and more time passes silently’. The repetition of ‘more’ might show that the couple are losing chance to escape or could also show  how their lives go so fast as they have been unhappy together for a long amount of time yet still haven’t found the time to do anything about it. The adverb ‘silently’ shows the couple to have no intimacy but also gives the sense that their lives are dull. This is also the antithesis of the title as silently contrasts with the word ‘talking’. Furthermore representing there is no intimacy between the couple and that time is passing too fast for them to leave each other.

            Similarly, in Larkin’s poem ‘Afternoons’ he also uses domestic objects to show the mood in the relationship. The nouns ‘swing’ ‘sandpit’ ‘washing’ and ‘television’ all have connotations of family and a household. The nouns have no pre-modifiers showing them to be dull and there is no emotion to them unlike Duffy’s personification of the house in her poem ‘Disgrace’. The persona does say ‘An estateful of washing’. This represents the women as that is their only work and day to day life, further showing the dullness of a domestic life and a marriage. This is shown further when the persona says ‘Stand husbands in skilled trades,’ signifying the roles in a typical marriage. ‘Skilled trades’ shows the men to be interesting and still have an exciting life where as the only thing the women are shown to worry about is ‘an estateful of washing’. ‘Estateful’ could indifferently show the amount of women that have a typical role of the wife and could represent every household the same, and that ‘estateful’ means all the women on an estate. The persona also says ‘Our Wedding, lying’. Because enjambment is used after the word lying to describe the album was ‘lying’ next to the television. It creates a secondary meaning for the reader as this could mean lie-ing showing that the album is on display as on their wedding they were in love and now they are not. The progressive verb ‘lying’ could show their lying to each other every day showing a downfall in their relationship. This could also represent that weddings in general are lies as the habit of life creates the downfall in a marriage and this is inevitable.

In contrast the theme of entrapment is shown in Duffy’s ‘Moments of Grace’ by the persona using imagery to describe the relationship to the reader. ‘Memory’s caged bird won’t fly.’ This shows that the persona cannot relive the memory but also that the memory will never leave them as the abstract noun ‘memory’ is something they cannot touch showing it cannot leave them. This sentence links to the title as the concrete noun ‘bird’ has connotations of the abstract noun ‘grace’. This shows the relationship in the poem as unhappy as the persona lives in their memory and cannot love in the current relationship they are in.

            In contrast Larkin’s poem ‘Talking in bed’ he uses pathetic fallacy to show the mood of the relationship. ‘Wind’s incomplete unrest’ could show that the weather reflects to how the couple truly feel. The abstract noun ‘unrest’ signifying the atmosphere between the couple and that it is ‘incomplete’ showing it cannot be fixed. The persona then describes the wind ‘Builds and disperses clouds in the sky’. This shows the couples ‘unrest’ when trying to fix the relationships but also that the relationship cannot settle. ‘Builds’ showing that they try to fix it and ‘disperses’ shows that it gets destroyed and the effort they force themselves to put into the relationships resolves in nothing. This displays that the couple try to fix things but it doesn’t work and that in the meantime more time is passing.

            Furthermore the relationship represented in Duffy’s poem ‘Disgrace’ is shown by the use of structure. This is shown through the eight quatrains creating a clear pattern throughout the poem. This could reflect the life of the couple and that in the poem there is no improvement to the relationship and that there is also a routine. Also on the last stanza four in the poem the persona says ‘Woke.’ By using this minor sentence in gives us a sense of shock from the persona and that they have suddenly realised the relationship is over. There is repetition of the verb ‘woke’ throughout the poem showing that the persona could be having nightmares about the relationship and wakes in fear of realisation of what the relationship has become.  

Duffy uses a similar structure in her poem ‘Moments of Grace’ but instead having five, five line stanzas. This could similarly show the routine of a relationship although in the last stanza of the poem she uses different lexical choices to show that the persona won’t let the thought of passionate memory’s let their present life fade away. The persona says ‘No.’ and by using a capital ‘n’ in the middle of the sentence it shows the personas sudden urge to stop themselves thinking about the past. The persona then says ‘you kiss the back of my neck. A blessing.’ This gives a sense of optimism at the end of poem and that a ‘blessing’ can be found in everyday routine life. By using a minor sentence it gives a sense of a declarative meaning that it’s the little things that the persona needs to remember instead of dwelling. This also could show that the present day in this poem is not the antithesis of the title that it suggests in the third and fourth stanza in the poem. The poems theme differs with the structure that is used. In the first two stanzas, the persona recalls their memory of ‘grace’, then in the second two stanzas the persona refers to the present day and how ‘grace’ is there no more and that the personas passionate memories make them bored in their relationship. Although in the last stanza the persona seizes time and sees that there is still ‘blessings’ in day to day life.

            In contrast Larkin’s poem ‘Afternoons’ is a short poem containing three, eight line stanzas. There is low frequency lexis throughout the poem with a minimum amount of verbs and also the enjambment showing the time passing through the generations slowly. This is shown also by the second line in the poem ‘The leaves fall in ones and twos’, by the persona being specific further shows time passing slowly.

            In conclusion it’s clear Larkin and Duffy display relationships in their poetry to be routine of life and also how love fades after time.  The relationships in the poems are all long term and the reference to time such as Larkin’s ‘Talking in bed’ that time passes too fast to do anything about the withering relationship whereas ‘Afternoons’ represents time passes so slowly showing the routine of life and day to day things are the same. In Larkin’s personal life he was never married and his personal views on marriage have reflected as he refers to the bleakness of domestic relationships in his poetry whereas Duffy explains more of the breakdown and how when you’re in a relationship you lose a sense of identity and stop loving your partner. Duffy although presents optimism in her ‘Moments of Grace’ whereas Larkin’s two poems create a sense of bleakness.